The Art Of Christian Living

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She only wishes to stands out
But bends to validation
All she desires is human applause
She grinds from sun down to sun up  
Just to receive the stamp

She was crowned with clout  
Received relentless admiration
From public squares with no flaws
Any challenge begun, she won the cup
They archived her feats as a champ

Now that she lost her route
The cheers ceased without hesitation
Her presence invites critical claws
She hears whispers cut off abrupt
She became the taboo of her camp

Her soul woke her out of doubt
And opened her eyes to her Maker’s vindication
Look, you’re qualified and condemned by no man’s laws
Don’t live by the standard of men, and be less corrupt
If humans validate you, you’ll find your bed in the swamp

But, take heart his blood already vindicated you

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We Understand, yet we fall for it


No human validation is worth living for, yet we find ourselves craving it. Logic warns, but our emotions live for it.

Each day we stand before the court of man and present ourselves; did we dress well today, is our hair in style, do we sound normal, did we say right words, is it okay to pursue such and such dreams, etc. The list goes on and on.


Validation Steals


It takes from us more than it ever delivers. The constant urges to keep up and maintain approval eats up our emotional health and well being.

Not only that, but our dreams and goals also suffer in the process. For example, a social media influencer creates a persona they are expected to exhibit and any changes may risk the brand.

You hear some say, “she changed a lot and I don’t think I like her content anymore.” But life evolves and because of the validation we get from our created brands or personas we tend to fear to venture out and seek other opportunities that might be waiting for us. We risk stagnating if we avoid growth.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com


Your Validation Comes From God Only

No one has the power to stop you from becoming what you’re destined to become as long as you play your part. There’s always a part to play. Faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). Action is between your belief and your receiving.

That’s why other people’s validation does not matter at all. Trust me, it is very hard not to seek or desire it. It satisfies the flesh and we are pleasure-seeking beings, but we need to remember the fruit of ‘ Self Control,’ Galatians 2:22

Work hard, trust God’s leading, and follow his instructions; then you’ll find good success. Lack of validation from people cannot stop you. You’re already blessed and highly favored by God.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1

Thank you for reading. Stay Blessed Always!

https://theartofchristianliving.blog/2020/07/22/growth-lonely-places/

17 thoughts on “The Validation Trap

  1. Perth Girl
    Perth Girl says:

    So true that seeking people’s validation is futile and detrimental. We run after the wrong goal in that case. Seeking to be more Christ like is what we should pursue but it is definitely a struggle to let those desires for self praise and glory not stand in the forefront.
    Awesome reminder Marie.

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      You’re absolutely right, my dear. The struggle to conform to the image of Christ is real.

      Thank you, for the wonderful and thoughtful insights. I appreciate it

      You’re more than welcome, dear. The pleasure is mine

  2. Era – I am Doctor by profession who loves to write poetry and articles , a mental health enthusiastic , nature lover and very much interested in history and mythology .
    Era says:

    great post
    so true, we don’t need any validation from humans
    thanks for sharing this

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Thank you, Era for your thoughtful insights.

      Yes, we don’t need it, but the craving for validation is real a struggle .

      You’re welcome, dear. The pleasure is mine

      1. Era – I am Doctor by profession who loves to write poetry and articles , a mental health enthusiastic , nature lover and very much interested in history and mythology .
        Era says:

        yup, so true, dealing with it everyday
        you’re most welcome always

      2. Era – I am Doctor by profession who loves to write poetry and articles , a mental health enthusiastic , nature lover and very much interested in history and mythology .
        Era says:

        yes, struggle we deal everyday

        you’re most welcome, always

      3. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
        Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

        Yes, indeed. Have a wonderful day

  3. Joel Abakah – Words are simply children that my thoughts nurture into phrases and sentences🌸🌸
    Joel Abakah says:

    I hear you loud and clear. We’ve all heard “you can’t please everyone” before and yet we still fight for every person’s validation. If God is cool with you and what you’re about then that’s it. You’re good to go

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      So true , even though we know the truth, and get constant reminders not to, yet we do it anyway.

      Thank you, Joel for the wonderful and thoughtful comment.

      Indeed, we are already approved by God, and that’s what matters in the end

  4. ayansolaibukun – Faith, Relationships, Family, Reviews, Creative Writing
    ayansolaibukun says:

    This is profound, Marie. We’ll live a life full of joy and contentment when we chose to see ourselves the way God sees us. We live our lives by the standards of God’s Word. We are who the Word says we are!

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Thank you, Ayansola, for your great insights. I appreciate it so much.

      Indeed, ‘We are who the Word says we are.’ I love this line, it summarized everything.

      Well done, and stay blessed always

  5. doriskoki
    doriskoki says:

    Our emotions live for human validation…so sad. May God help us understand that’s He’s the only right source of our validation.
    Well written Marie

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Thank you, Doris. You’re right, it is rather very sad, indeed.

      Amen, only God can help us to control them as much as possible

  6. Meetali – Writer|| Photography I write things which I don't say out loud. I am even a photographer, where every picture has a story to tell
    Meetali says:

    Such a great post.. Really loved it, read your post after a really long time

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Thank you, Meetali, for stopping by, and reading . I truly appreciate it.

      I’m glad you loved it. Stay blessed

  7. Donovan Carper
    Donovan Carper says:

    I remember hearing an interview with the singer of Nine Inch Nails, where he talked about how brief the satisfaction was from packed stadiums of fans…noting how the pleasure and assurance was so temporary and unfulfilling and did not meet his expectations once he achieved fame…true but fascinating to hear from those who lived it

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Thank you, Donovan, for your thoughtful comment.

      It is never a fun game to trapped in an approval seeking lifestyle. Stay blessed

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