The Art Of Christian Living

Exploring & Sharing Life | Lessons | Experiences

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Brené Brown

Sex as a taboo

Sex has been one of my biggest taboos, and I always shy away from talking about it, even with my husband. The vulnerability journey was a hard one for me, and I do not even know where I got the courage. It was entirely out of my comfort zone, but I wanted to challenge myself and my beliefs. I tend to believe that women should not initiate sex even with their husbands because it seems inappropriate and unladylike.

There is often a bad connotation with women and sex. Whenever a woman shows her sexuality in my culture and religious belief system, the woman is usually regarded as promiscuous or a prostitute and can be outcast.

That is why I am always careful when it comes to sex, but I always wanted to be able to express my sexual desires without feeling shame and guilt.

Reflection on my progress

Wow, I am genuinely amazed at myself. I never thought that I would randomly start talking about sex, much less initiating it. I grew up in a society where the word sex was taboo. No one really talked about it even though they may be engaging in it. It was unheard of for even close friends, both married and unmarried, especially girls or women to talk about sex freely. The only time you heard about it was when your parents might warn against having it when admonishing to waiting till marriage.

Photo by Colton-Sturgeon on Unsplash

 I remembered when I first came to the United States. In class, the girls sitting next to me started discussing some footballer guy who was good in bed, and I thought, ‘what is happening? What would their parents say, or do to them if they heard what they are saying?” I was shocked, maybe my first instance of culture shock in America.

Not letting his reaction overshadow my journey

Honestly, I was ashamed the first night, and my husband was surprised and even asked me what was really going on. Even though his questions were respectful and his tone calm, I was like, “There you go; now he is going to think that I am a ‘wolf in a sheep’s clothing’ (playing innocent all this while).” I almost stopped my attempt, but I continued because it would make the situation even more awkward and uncomfortable for both of us, and I did not want to create that atmosphere in my marriage. The second day I managed to bring up the topic and started talking about it again. I was still uncomfortable, but I had to persevere no matter what.

Toward the end of the week, I became much better at it and started to feel a bit more comfortable. I know if I am to continue on this discovery, I will need more courage to unmask and enjoy my freedom to explore and conquer my utmost fear, which is sex. I still have a long way to go, and I want to continue, but to take it at a much slower rate.

Thank you for reading my most intimate post:). Please feel free to share your story too. Last post on this series coming soon!!!!!  

4 thoughts on “The Journey To Becoming Vulnerable Part 2

  1. Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog – My Blog primarily consists of close-up nature photos (that I've taken locally) combined with original holistic-truth oriented prose and/or poetry involving mindfulness/awareness. I love nature and I love understanding the whole (not merely the parts and the details). I'm a retired teacher of the multiply handicapped. I have a number of interesting hobbies, such as fossil collecting, sport-kite flying, 3D and 2D close-up photography, holography, and pets. Most of all, I am into holistic self-awareness, spontaneous insight, unconventional observation/direct perception, mindfulness, meditation, world peace, non-fragmentation, population control, vegetarianism, and green energy. To follow my unique Blog of "Nature Photos and Mindfulness Sayings" and for RSS feeds to my new posts, please access at: tom8pie.com (On my regular Blog posting pages, for additional information and to follow, simply click on the "tack icon" at the upper right corner... or, on my profile page, you can click on the "Thomas Peace" icon.) Stay mindful, understanding, and caring!...
    Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog says:

    I was very shy about it when i was younger. Society, these days, places too much emphasis on it, i feel. Understanding the whole (and real love) is much more significant. Guppies — i keep aquarium fish — go nuts sexually with each other but they don’t understand squat. 🙂

    1. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
      Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

      Yeah that’s true, it happens to most of us. Anyone can be physical but it takes care, honesty, and vulnerability to truly connect. Good for them lol.

  2. Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog – My Blog primarily consists of close-up nature photos (that I've taken locally) combined with original holistic-truth oriented prose and/or poetry involving mindfulness/awareness. I love nature and I love understanding the whole (not merely the parts and the details). I'm a retired teacher of the multiply handicapped. I have a number of interesting hobbies, such as fossil collecting, sport-kite flying, 3D and 2D close-up photography, holography, and pets. Most of all, I am into holistic self-awareness, spontaneous insight, unconventional observation/direct perception, mindfulness, meditation, world peace, non-fragmentation, population control, vegetarianism, and green energy. To follow my unique Blog of "Nature Photos and Mindfulness Sayings" and for RSS feeds to my new posts, please access at: tom8pie.com (On my regular Blog posting pages, for additional information and to follow, simply click on the "tack icon" at the upper right corner... or, on my profile page, you can click on the "Thomas Peace" icon.) Stay mindful, understanding, and caring!...
    Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog says:

    Yes! 🙂

    from E.E.Cummings:

    what freedom’s not some under’s mere above
    but breathing yes which fear will never no?
    measureless our pure living complete love
    whose doom is beauty and its fate to grow

  3. Marie Cook – I am a food lover, and cooking is therapeutic for me; it relaxes me and transports me to a quieter universe away from the noisy, busy modern world. I am a Counseling Mental Health & Wellness graduate student, wife, and stepmother. I love connecting with people from different cultural backgrounds through food, fashion, wisdom, and lifestyle in general. To be continued because I am still in the process of discovering who I am as I continue this journey called life. I promise to keep you all posted in the meantime.
    Marie Jeanderine Cook says:

    Well said!

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